shopping almanac of a stay home mum


Keeping Up With The Joneses

posted by constance

I had a good read on the internet about this topic. It was pretty hilarious! There was an article in the culture and society segment which gave advice and tips on How to Keep Up with the Joneses. For some of you who are not familiar with the term ‘keeping up with the Joneses’, it is a popular phrase whereby two family who lived side by side (neighbours) are trying to outdo each other in every thing they have, own to be on top of each other. Most of the time countries that are developed face or experience this concept is carried out to prove one’s successful attainment in the material world. In Singapore, it is simply expressed as ‘Kiasuim’ mentality.

So, what does one do to keep up with the Joneses. Here is what I read:

Step 1:
Buy a pair of binoculars. It’s hard to see what your neighbors have inside their houses unless you can get a clear view. Purchase everything they have plus one, meaning either the quantity must be more or the quality must be higher.
Step 2:
Shop at the organic grocery store where prices are higher and the food is better. Shop during peak hours to be seen by more people. Frequently comment to friends on the gourmet items you’ve purchased or new recipes your maid has been trying out. Better yet, have your maid shop there.
Step 3:
Trade up for a prettier or more handsome spouse if yours can’t be spruced up. Nothing screams money like a young, beautiful, not-so smart spouse. You will need to do this every decade or so, whenever the current model starts looking haggard or approaches middle age.
Step 4:
Take out a second mortgage, if necessary, because you have to buy the newest luxury car on the market. Try to get one slightly more expensive than the one your neighbor drives. Having a sports car to drive on the weekends and a gas-guzzling SUV, like a Hummer, for family trips are the best options.
Step 5:
Give every teenager in your house an expensive convertible on their 16th birthday. Wrap it in a big bow and leave it in the driveway so all can see how generous you are. If it gets wrecked, purchase a replacement as soon as possible. Don’t make your teenager work, or in anyway deserve, the car.
Step 6:
Hold frequent dinner parties to show off your shiny, new purchases. Hire extra servants for the evening and splurge for a live band or combo group. Have at least seven courses for the meal. Afterwards, serve the gentlemen brandy in the study while the ladies retire to the parlor.
Step 7:
Send your children to the best boarding schools, preferably in a foreign country. On school breaks, embarrass your children by making them perform a piano concert or recite Voltaire in French at one of your dinner parties. Constantly tell everyone how talented and smart they are by listing all the things they can do that other children can’t.
  1. Jo-N Said,

    Hahaha, this is funny but I don’t think I want to keep up with the Joneses. Can’t imagine myself doing Number 3.

    Jo-N’s last blog post..Have You Been This Tired?

  2. SAHM Said,

    This is definitely not for me.
    No 1 i dont have,
    No 2 – I sometimes buy oranic, but I like to shop when the shops are empty.
    No3 – how can find more handsome spouse – no one can beat my current,
    No4 – petro; prices are already way to high for me.
    No5- cant afford.
    No6 – dinner parties- my cooking not that good, dont think they want to come.
    No7 -they go overseas to boarding school then I must go along. if not who can I trust my babies with!!
    It forgot to say buy bigger *blings* than what the neighbours are wearing. Also, Dad, if you are reading this – you forgot to get me No5 on my 16th birthday.

    SAHM’s last blog post..Sip ….ahhh!

  3. mott Said,

    Hi Constance! Thanks so much for dropping by my lil plain blog..and for adding me in ur blogroll, am real honoured! I will do the same soon!!!!!

    I will take my time in reading ur blog..and dun mind me, if u suddenly find a comment in an old old post! HA HA HA!

    mott’s last blog post..The Udder Mom?

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